Signal Interpretation

Dear Diva Rebecca,

My ex and I have been broken up for little over a month. We were together for 2 1/2 years. I thought everything was fine but we did come across the constant arguing. We went on vacation together in August and we had a blast. But, when we got back it was like a completely different world. We stop spending time with one another. I was going out with my girlfriends and he was with his friends. I called him one day and approached the subject. That we are basically not spending any time with one another so, what's going on...Is there someone else? Are you not interested any more? You don't care? What is it? I kept saying stuff like that to him. He was like no there's no one else, its been rough not working and trying to find a new job was his reply. So, of course since everything was bothering me and I had a few drinks in me my attitude came out negative like I didn't believe him. It started a big argument between us and that was the last time we really talked. One bad argument made everything go down hill. But, recently he called my cell phone. He was really cold and mean to the point where I was like I'm not falling into his trap by calling back and arguing. I haven't seen him nor have I called him. He stated on my machine that I ruined his life and that I'm the worst thing that happened to him. This is not what I want. I really do still care about him and love him. But, I need to know from your opinion if Im doing the right thing by not calling him even after I got the nasty message? Because, if this was 6 months ago I would of called back and argued right with him. He also stated on my machine that I'm suppose to tell his new girl that he has nothing to do with me...but, she never called..So, my friends are like there's no girl, that's just him trying to make me jealous...agree or disagree? Can you please help me.

Sincerely,

Clueless

Dear Clueless,

I agree. For some reason he is terribly hurt and he feels like you broke up with him. You are dealing with a broken ego here. No, there is probably no other woman. And if there was, it is someone he doesn't care about at all.

What this poor soul is doing is acting like a child. He is throwing temper tantrums to get your attention. He is the little boy at school pulling a girl's pigtails just to try and get her attention. What he wants is for you to throw yourself at his feet and beg for him to come back to you. Maybe not that extreme but he wants your attention. He wants to feel loved and cared about and he wants you to chase him. He feels like you do not care about the breakup and he wants you to care.

He is acting a little childish for someone that has been ina relationship for this long, but if you truly want him back I would give him the attention he is craving. Bite your tongue and apologize for anything and everything even if you were not in the wrong. If he starts to argue, keep your cool and do not get drawn into the arguement. Talk sweetly and softly and let him know how much you love him. Give him lots of compliments and positive attention. Don't give him any negative attention (ie telling him how miserable you are and how much he is hurting you). After doing this for long enough, he will warm up to you. But someone in this scenario has to be the bigger person and try to resolve and issues by apologizing. It will be the ice breaker. Otherwise, you two will keep up this circle of anger and arguing.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca