I Broke Up With His Answering Machine

Dear Diva Rebecca,

I was dating this guy for about 2 months. Everything was totally great. He stayed at my house for 3 days, and I got all mushy and started implying that I wanted to be bf and gf. He got uncomfortable, and the next day (After he left) was the first day he didnt call me back right away. I waited 24 hrs for him to call back and then left a message that it was over.

We've exchanged a couple of emails since then, and run into each other a couple of times. He always said (when we were dating) and still does that he likes me so much that it terrifies him, and that he doesn't want to get hurt by me. His ex-finace left him a couple of years ago with no explanation and so he doesnt want history to repeat itself.

Well, one time when I ran into him we ended up kissing. He asked me to go to dinner the next day, but ended up cancelling. I saw him the day after at the superbowl party, but we didnt talk much. Polite, but distant. Then that week we went to lunch together. He was leaving town that night for a week, but made time to hang out with me. We went to lunch, and then to the bookstore where he bought me 2 of his favorite books, and bought himself a book that I suggested. We didn't kiss goodbye, but a big hug and I gave him a tap kiss on the lips. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Depressed

Dear Depressed,

Well, your first big mistake was breaking up with him in a message becasue he didn't call you back right away. This is a major red flag to most guys. If the girl spazzes when he is not able to return a phone call and she calls him over and over again (as if he was waiting for the precise 27th call), he will usually back away very quickly. I would have. I am not saying that to be cruel, I am just giving you the skinny. Never ever let it get to you when a guy doesn't call. Keep your cool and do something else to get it off your mind......like go to the clubs with your girls! But once you call him more than once in the beginning of a relationship because he hasn't called you back, you can consider the relationship over.

You also know that he has been hurt before. He ex left him for no reason. Well, he might be thinking that you did the same exact thing to him again. And if you broke up with his answering machine, he might assume that you will do it again in the future. He is protecting himself.

In this particular case, I would stop playing games with him. The key to any relationship and accessing your desire is communication. Find a time where you can get together with him for coffee or something like that, and tell him the whole story. Let him knwo exactly what happened, how you were feeling and why you did what you did because of what you were feeling. Faced with some brutal honesty, you will find out exactly how he feels. And if he is the least bit interested, you will be seeing each other again very very soon.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca