Free Love Advice For Men and Women

Welcome to the blog for www.AdviceDiva.com This is the premiere site for love advice, relationship advice, dating advice and even sex advice. Learn how to get your ex back and find out what women really want. Click one of the books to learn more or read through my emails and responses. I can help you with your boyfriends, girlfriends, your wife or your husband. Visit my website and email the Diva!

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Thursday, May 04, 2006

Awesome New Love eCards

Hey all! I have been working so hard, and I haven't posted in forever, but I finally finished my big project. I have finally finished my brand new section of free love ecards!! You have to check them out because I worked soooo hard on them! I am not a php/html/code guru which is why it took me so long, but I am so proud of myself because it actually works! Yeehaw! Don't worry, you don't have to sign up or anything. That always annoys me. When you go and spend a while searching for a card, fill it in and all of the sudden they require you to log on or sign up? What a rip. Nope, not here....just pick a card and send it! Tell me what you think....good or not.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Auto Responders Suck

What the heck is up with these auto responders? Someone just invented a super cheesy way to send out spam by automatically leaving comments on people's blogs. How crappy is that? Check out my post from teo posts ago (if that makes any sense). I am going to leave the comment section available just so you can all see what idiots are doing to our blogs. Just watch, the comment section on this post will grow rapidly.

Free Love Letters

Hey everyone!

I created a new page on my website where we wrote a whole bunch of Free Love Letters you can use as you wish. I noticed that a whole bunch of websites had come out with this software that allowed you to imput your lover's name and it would generate love letters for you. Cool, huh? The only problem is that they wanted $30 a pop. Whatever. I don't really think they should cost money because you could find great examples by searching on the internet. So we made up some fun letters love struck people can use and you can find them Here. They are super cool!!!

Monday, October 17, 2005

I Want Something More

Dear Diva Rebecca,

I have been seeing someone for a few months now. When I first met him I told him that I didn't want anything serious. And at the time this was the truth. Now I feel like I am ready for more but I don't know how to go about telling him without making things awkward. I don't want to make myself look stupid. At one point I mentioned something to him and tried to initiate the conversation but I think I went about it all wrong. He ended up thinking that I didn't want to talk to him! We are still dating and having fun and I am still dying to tell him how I feel.

Sincerely,
Fear of Rejection

Dear Fear of Rejection,

I think a congratulations is in order. Sometimes it takes a while to admit to ourselves and to others that we just might be ready for a relationship. This is sometimes a scary premise. The most independent men and women travel from relationship to relationship (or fling to fling) because they are just not ready to commit to a relationship. Whether they fear the dependency, loss of independence and individuality or emotional vulnerability, a relationship can be a scary thing to someone who is highly independent. And when that person suddenly realizes that they just might be in love and starts to actually desire a relationship, the words just might be scared right out of him or her.

You didn't want anything serious back then. You might say this to a person to protect yourself, even when you really do want a relationship. When you say you don't want a real relationship while you are dating you are protecting yourself from being hurt emotionally. This way if he ends up breaking it of....no big deal. You had your emotional barrier up protecting yourself from any kind of hurt. You just move on without so much as a scratch.

Now you are utterly freaked out and confused because you want a relationship with this man. My guess is that this doesn't happen to you too often. Because you normally don't get emotionally attached and you are not used to "gushing", you are having a terrible time articulating what you want with this guy. Why? Because your emotional barrier is still halfway up. You are absolutely petrified that if you tell him how you feel, you will get shot down. That scares the living daylights out of you. You never let yourself get hurt and you are afraid to take that chance now. Guess what? You are completely normal.

Its okay to be afraid. Taking a change with love is always scary. There is always the chance that somewhere down the line you will get hurt. Can I be cheesy now and say that "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"? If you want a relationship you are going to have to open up. He is not going to understand what you want until you actually make yourself vulnerable and let him know how you really feel. Take a chance. If this is what you really want you have to go for it. If you never make yourself available to him emotionally, your relationship can not grow.

You said that your guy thought you "did not want to talk to him" after you tried to explain yourself. I can already picture in my mind why! You got nervous, had many long pauses and deep sighs, fragmented sentences that made no sense, and you still could not get what you wanted to say out. He was probably so confused, he might even have thought you were trying to break up with him!

You should let him know how you feel. Once you do, it will be all downhill from there, especially if he reciprocates. Make a list of everything you want to say. Sometimes it helps to get it down in paper. You have less inhibitions when you write because you are not face to face. Then let him know. Once you find out that he will not hurt you when you make yourself emotionally vulnerable, it will become a lot easier to start talking to him about your feelings and you will gradually ease your way into a deeper relationship. If he doesn't feel the same way, at least you know now and you can break away instead of still waiting and wondering for months down the road.

Sincerely,
Diva Rebecca

Magic Love Spells

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Sunday, July 31, 2005

No Sex on the First Date

Dear Diva Rebecca,

I have just started dating again after ending a 5-year relationship three months ago. I only date nice, professional executives (college grads) and have not crossed the point of no return with any of them even though some have tried. I have been told that, "We're both adults and the rules have changed and it's okay to have sex on the first date because sex is a natural thing for consenting adults." When I tell them I'm an old-fashioned girl, they tell me that "Mom's teaching is outdated and that they don't think badly of women who go ahead an "do it." I'm confused--is this BS or what? The gorgeous man with whom I would really like to have a long-termed relationship and who is perfect in every way for me (he is also the person who said this) and I almost gave in, but finally said no. Now he doesn't call even though he says that he is very serious about finding a wife. Do men try women out like cars before they make a down payment? In your opinion, do men really take a casual attitude like this or are they just testing my integrity to see if I'm wife material?

Sincerely,

No Sex On The First Date


Dear No Sex,

First of all, if you have your own convictions, stick to them. It makes you unique. Don't give in to someone else just because he says that times have changed. You will only be giving in to his libido and you will compromise everything you believe in for one fleeting moment. Why bother? If some guy is hot over you and giving you all of the lines from his hormonal pubescent days, take it as a compliment and recognize that this is all they are : LINES. He is hot over you and all he wants to do is get his freak on. Why? Because you are a beautiful sexy woman, that is why. Use this to your advantage instead of letting yourself become manipulated or feel weak. And let it make you feel proud. The guys are very attracted to you!

Second, if this one gorgeous guy is now ignoring you after he tried to get you in the sack and you properly declined while letting him know that you still like him, he is nothing but a player! It is always difficult to get back into the dating scene after being in a long term relationship. You become very trustworthy while in a relationship. You learn that you can trust a man with your emotions and honesty. Unfortunately, this is something you can not take for granted in the dating world. Not all guys are going to be who you think they are. This guy was just a player, nothing more. He only wanted sex from you and when you did not give it to him he was out the door. Imagine if you had given it to him? He might have come around for some more here and there and then he would be gone just like he is now, leaving you to feel violated and betrayed. You would have felt much worse than you do now. Trust me, this guy was not looking for a long term commitment, just sex.

If a guy was looking for that special woman, he would not ditch her because she did not give it up on the first date. He would be even more attracted to her and even more inclined to consider her for a serious relationship. Think of this as a learning lesson. The next time you say "No" and he immediately leaves, he is not worth a second more of your time. If he sticks around, he just earned some "cool points".

Times HAVE changed when it comes to casual sex, hook ups and sex on the first date. Women have become sexually liberated. A woman no longer has to feel badly about herself if she wants sex just as much as the man. But this does not mean that times have changed for everyone. This is a personal decision. And if you want to wait before you enter an intimate relationship, then you should wait. And kudos to you......I think waiting is the best choice for anybody looking for a relationship.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Ex boyfriend

Ex boyfriend: Did you break up with your boyfriend? Learn how to get your ex back and get that man back into your life! Find out at www.advicediva.com and learn from the Diva!

How to win her back

How to win her back: Did you lose your girlfriend? Fine out why and what you can do to win your girlfriend back at www.advicediva.com Learn from the Diva!

She dumped me

She dumped me: Did she dump you? Find out the reasons why and see what you can do to win your ex back at www.advicediva.com Find out from the Diva!

I Want Her Back

I want her back: Are you looking for ways to get that woman back into your life? Look no further. Let the Diva show you how to get your ex back at www.advicediva.com Let the Diva help!

Break up

Going through a break up? Learn how to get your ex back at www.advicediva.com!
Let the Diva show you how its done!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

He Has Herpes

Dear Diva Rebecca,

I have finally met the most wonderful, loving, open man. We met online and we spent many hours on the phone before we met. He is the one I have been praying for. He told me he wanted to wait to have sex so we could do it right. He is even talking marriage! But he just told me he has the incurable herpes virus!!! I was so grateful that he thought enough of me to tell me this before we were intimate. I started reading up on it and now I just feel so sick. The pictures look terrible! I am so confused about what to do. It sounds like for just getting back into the dating scene at the age of 46 that I might get it anyways. It seems like it is out there everywhere, and I am sure that there are people who know they have it but would not tell you first. What should I do? I love him but I am terrified!

Sincerely,

Objection to Contraction, Dallas, Texas


Dear Objection,

There is no easy road to choose in this situation. I am sure many people would tell you to hit the highway hunny. Don't risk getting infected. But truth be told, many people you could date could also be infected. The current statistics show 1 in every 5 Americans has genital herpes. But not everybody knows they have it because they do not suffer major outbreaks or have obvious symptoms. ONE in every FIVE Americans! That is one heck of a track record.

Before you do anything you should consider all of the facts. You do not have herpes now and you might want to keep it that way. Genital herpes in a woman is much more complicated. Women suffer more severe breakouts, have more painful lesions and they are able to get sores inside the cervix. You would have no idea you were having an outbreak if you did. If you contract the virus, it could lead to complications in childbirth. If you were having an outbreak at the time of birth, you would be forced to have a cesarean because if the child gets infected, the virus could cause severe neurological damage, mental retardation or death. You should also know that Herpes is the most contagious sexually transmitted disease out there. You have a 75% chance of contracting the disease if your partner is in an infectious stage, and he might not even know it. And although you should always-always-always wear condoms, they will not protect you from catching the disease.

This guy you like so much got the nerve up and told you the truth. You have to give him some respect. Having the Herpes Virus is a severely emotional and painful discovery because of the strongly associated taboo associated with it. Even though so many people are infected, it still goes without saying that just the word alone "Herpes" gives you chills. There are people that have even committed suicide over the problem. This guy is most likely very embarrassed about his infection and he is trusting you with his secret. However he, and the numerous infected out there, should not be as terribly embarrassed about it as so many people are. This disease is prolific. It is about as common as the chicken pox. He is not a "bad person" for having the disease.

I would tell you to check out some support groups and see what kinds of medications are out there for prevention. Talk to your doctor about it. Don't be embarrassed. Just let him know that you are about to enter a sexual relationship with someone who has G.H. Trust me, he/she has heard it before. I won't lie to you, you would most likely catch the disease after a long intimate relationship. And although I am sure it is a pain in the you know what to live with (literally), you won't die and you can manage. Just like rest of those 1 in 5 Americans

I am aware of two couples who have the disease where one partner is infected and the other is not. In both cases, they always wear condoms and the uninfected persons sterilizes the area after intercourse with alcohol. Neither one has become infected yet and they get regular tests.

Give the guy a chance. Everyone has skeletons in their closet. You probably got the worst of them out of the way. Just wait a while longer for an intimate relationships until you are absolutely sure.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca

Monday, March 28, 2005

I Cheated Online

Dear Diva Rebecca,

I desperately need your help. I have been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half now. This past summer she got pregnant and she is due in April. We are both in the military and after I came back from deployment we got an apartment together and started making plans together for our life. Well I have had this thing with chatting online with people and after seeing this one day she asked me to stop because she didn't like it so I did. I had to move to Washington and she is still in California, and since then we have been having major problems. Before I left I had taken some explicit pictures of myself and put them on our computer and she found the pictures. I was also having sexual conversations with people online not for any sexual pleasure mainly from being bored. But I still did it and it was wrong of me to do it. She now says that we can not be together right now and she wants me to to go to counseling but she doesn't know if we can ever be together again. She doesn't know if she can ever trust me again. I love this woman very much and I want to spend my life with her and it is tearing me up inside that I actually did this to her. What can I do so that she can trust me again?

Sincerely,

Cheated Online,
United Kingdom

Dear Cheated Online,

Well, hunny, she probably thinks you are a freak. Or at least, she may be worried that you are.

There are plenty of people that chat online and they even engage in online sex and other fun stuff like that. And I am sure she realized that when she found out you are hooked on chatting online, you were probably having some online affairs. Some people will calling this cheating while other women will accept it as a variation of pornography and they might not even mind it too much. Your girl minded. She wanted to nip any chance of you having an online romance in the bud. She didn't want to take the chance. It bothered her and she let you know about it. But then she found out that you were having an online romance or two and you were even sharing photos.

Now, if it was just an online affair, she may have been understandably upset for a long time with your infidelity. You would have some serious making up to do. But in this case, your ex really doesn't know what to think. Are you an exhibitionist? Are you a pedophile? Do you have some freakiness about you that she will never know about and she may never uncover? The part about the photos scared her. This is not a normal encounter. And she probably does not have too many girlfriends she can share this with and gain insight on. Even if she had a hoard of friends, she would not want to tell them about this problem because of rumors, etc. What would her friends think if she got back together with you? (Not that you are a bad guy, this is just how a girl can think).

What you need to do is explain to her any fetishes you may have. Think about it. Are you an exhibitionist, do you role play online, do you have fantasies you have not discussed with her? If you explain to her what was really going on and give her better reasoning than to say "I was bored", she will be more willing to accept your mistakes. By just saying that you were bored you are telling her that you think your relationship is boring and you might do it again in the future when you get bored. You must be more honest with her, perhaps even seek advice from a sex counselor so you can be more armed when you talk to her.

This woman is just about to have a baby. She is going to want and need you by her side. You have some serious making up to do and I think you can handle it. The usual groveling, flower and candy buying and staying attentive to her needs in her pregnant status is absolutely necessary. Also think about ways you can prove to her that this will never happen again. She can install computer tracking software on your computer so that she can check out your online activity if she feels the need to. Things like that.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca